#HELP he's a menace to society... but he's ur friend <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Do you really have to pretend to be normal though /silly I like gore and stuff but I agree with only being in an art sense. Ollie is good at murder apparently. -🌟

┐(￣ヘ￣)┌ sometimes i gotta

yeah though! horror can be a really cool artform for exploring certain topics and examining them in an allegorical sense... but obv like don't kill people irl duh??? hello???

and ya oliver is... evil sometimes

[anantaru]

i just remembered that one trend on tiktok where you get onna fake phone call and pretend you're getting some juicy gossip just to see how ur s/o would react and its so funny to imagine how the gossip bfs would be so nosey.

Kaveh full on turning the corner to stand beside you after hearing you "gasp in shock" and kuni slowly peeking his head around the doorframe and getting caught LMFOAIOJDJWJS

- 💳

cw. none, crack, gn! reader, gossip bf kuni & gossip bf kaveh, modern au!

synopsis. you play a fake phone-call prank on them

a/n. help nonnie i love this idea i had to write a little something to it <3

— scaramouche

"no, i do not believe this!"

dramatically pondering into the phone, you had made it your own personal duty to prank your boyfriend once again, unbeknownst to him of course.

but as might be expected, kuni wasn't stupid, so this had to be perfect, mind-blowing and you lowered your breathing to get in step with your devilish play.

scaramouche was currently in the living room, comfortably laying on the large couch while resting his eyes for a brief moment— today was one day like any other, needless to say it was demanding, becoming fatigued was only one of the many negatives of his job.

but then, before drifting off into a tranquil nap, your voice shook him awake, his eyes split open at your perceptible tone, scaramouche knew something big must've happened for you to be this all over the place and noisy.

and he knows better not to question it— that he was awfully bad at containing his excitement for any gossip, really, as long as there was something to gush and giggle about, complain or chitter chatter to his hearts content, kuni would always be right around the corner, cocking his ears to catch onto your words.

"but why would he do this?" you yell again, this time a step louder, "wait what?! he did what with his money?"

"who?!" bingo— you sink your teeth into your bottom lip to prevent yourself from laughing, it was way too easy to pique scaramouche's interest.

"tell me who? hey!" he peaked from behind the couch— his voice a little breathy, lower too so he wouldn't interrupt your phone call which, unsuspected to him, was fake.

"i can't believe he would do this, wow." it's over, kuni assembles the remaining power in his body to push himself off the warm confines of the couch before stomping towards you.

"what happened?" he asks again and tilts his head in a confused manner, but you do not respond.

"end the call, i want to know."

and this time you couldn't hold back the bristling power of an incoming laughter as you hiccuped and howled at his pleading face.

"it's a prank!" you giggle, lips split into a contagious smile, "i‘m sorry!" but he wasn't having it, instead scaramouche purses his lips at you, closing his arms around his chest— which fun fact, he'd always do whenever he wanted to appear more stern or poised.

"tsk." he clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, "you better make it up to me now."

— kaveh

"tell me!!"

kaveh restlessly whispers from right behind your body, once again— begging you to spill the beans, if it helps he'd even go on his knees for you.

but you further slant onto the kitchen counter, unbothered by all of this while motioning a short 'psst' sound with your lips so he'd keep himself quiet and wouldn't interrupt your oh so important phone call with your friend.

that admittedly, they weren't on a call with you right now— because in truth and nothing but the blatant truth, you began to play a little prank on him— quite evil, but what's new?

it was befitting too, to catch a glimpse of your boyfriends sweet tendencies to be hungry and eager for each and any gossip you could provide to him.

kaveh was unnerved— excited for something to gossip about because your stories tend to be so much better than his own which would mostly include his roommate alhaitham being a menace to society.

"wait!" you inaudibly gasp and dramatically place your hand on your chest, right above your heart for that extra special nuance that whatever was said right now, must've been huge, "so she went home with her?!"

"with whom??" kaveh whimpers, nudging his finger into your shoulder, once twice— beating frantically against your skin like he was trying to win a contest on; 'how to annoy your significant other the best'.

"who baby, say a name, please!"

"psst, kaveh!" you scold him and he squints, though you're a natural at concealing your amusement, "but i want to know." and he stomps his feet on the ground while sloping his body forward so he could hug you from behind and crush you with his weight— maybe even listen to the voice coming from your phone himself.

"i don't hear anything!" he pushes himself into you more, ear tightly planted against your hand that was holding your phone, "wait are you messing with me?"

he cocks a brow, pulling himself off you so he could look at your face and discern this mystery himself. he knows it in the way you suddenly hid your mouth with the back of your hand, sneakily placing the phone on the kitchen counter while giggling to yourself.

"sorry."

it doesn't help that you're so sweet— or that kaveh was madly in love with you, one of the two, otherwise he would've been actually mad at you now.

"seriously, i was so excited baby!"

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[unluckiestmember]

Hobie x male reader if that’s okay!! ^_^ like the reader is also into the same music and they have a bunch of things in common and then they just enjoy each others time ^^; SORRY IF TJIS IS TOO MUCH u can change anything to ur liking !!

Coming right up!

Hobie Brown X Male! Reader

Characters: Hobie Brown, Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy and Pavitr Prabhaker.

Tags: Established Relationship, alphabet mafia, Hobie being Hobie, anarchy, flirting, sharing, shenanigans, menaces to society and fluff (of course).

Warning: None. SFW.

A/N: I like to believe Hobie is Pansexual if not Bisexual. What do you guys think?

You are everything to Hobie.

Guy feels like he hit the jackpot when he started to date you.

You liked rock music? You enjoyed causing chaos? And you lived life to the fullest without regrets?

Oh he was so in love.

He will recklessly take you along with him as Spider-Punk while fighting some bad guys.

Between his punches, expect this man to dedicate attacks to you and ask if you saw them.

Definitely flirts without you, saying how handsome you are and how hot you can be.

If he catches you blushing? Good job. You just fueled him to keep the compliments coming.

If you play an instrument, he will push you to do gigs with him.

And he will kiss you at every concert, right in front of the crowd, with no regrets.

He will sneak day passes back home for you and him to spend some days on other Earths.

He also sneaks you onto Spider-Society to meet his friends.

Yes. Miles, Pavitr and Gwen always make fun of him when you’re around.

You can think of it as payback for all the times he’s made you flustered back home.

Share clothes with you and vice versa.

He will go out of his way to wear your shirts and jackets proudly so everyone knows who he belongs to.

Whenever he finds you in his clothes, he gets giddy and showers you with compliments.

Hobie has made out with you anywhere you can think of.

He can’t help if he can’t keep his lips off of you! You’re so cute!

He will push you into getting piercings and tattoos, but if you don’t want them, he understands.

Everyone can tell you mean so much to him.

Hopefully you do too.

Spider-Verse Requests are open!

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3

[temunitu]

Okay question!

These can be specific versions of turtles too:

Who is your favorite turtle:

The one you relate to the most:

The one you dislike the most (or just least favorite):

Turtle who you think is the most underrated:

Turtle who you think is the most overrated:

Turtle who you think gets too much hate (or the most criticism)

Turtle who you'd be best friends with:

And Turtle who you'd be mortal enemies with:

I SHOULDN’T BE SO STOKED TO DO THIS. also @ anyone who wants to: you can fill this out and reblog or reply with it. i love reading y’all’s opinions

read more cuz i’m gonna overdo it and go into why

Favorite: i think you can probably guess it’s 2003 mikey since i am an open book. love that he’s unapologetically a menace to society but put all his points toward charisma so he can get away with it. it might’ve been rise mikey had we seen more of him, he’s a close second.

Relatable: this was so tough but i think 90s raph might be the most relatable to me??? at least. when i was like 15. sir you try to act all tough and scream “DAMN” from the rooftops. just angsting it up. i love that for him, that was me at 15. get him into therapy, it helps <3

Dislike/least fav: 2012 donnie. you know why.

Underrated: i see like. zero love for the 90s movies (i know 2 and 3 weren’t as good but 1 DESERVES MORE LOVE). the turtles in it are fantastic and there’s some lines that are just. PEAK sibling inside joke energy. (i am talking about donnie and mikey’s “fight?” “fight.” “kitchen?” “kitchen.” “pork rind?” “pork rind.”)

Overrated: i love the rise leo kinnies and stans. and leo clearly has a lot going on. but it has been done over and over and over so much that i am so tired of it. this same thing happened with rise donnie when the show was coming out. post-movie it’s been all about leo, so… both of them are kinda overrated to me

Too much hate/criticism: i have like, a warped sense of what’s popular and what gets criticized since i tend to stick to my own corner of the internet, but… for me, it’s fast forward and back to the sewers. i watched those pretty early and they’re special to me for whatever reason, but the changes feel REALLY different and i think it was mainly due to execs worried about making money so they cut the budget (and/or execs thinking they had to ‘lighten’ up the show for a broader audience and to not piss off parents). there’s a LOT of cool ideas in both but especially fast forward. btts got chopped halfway through. idk, a canceled show can’t be… bad to me? cuz i can’t help but see that the creators tried their damnedest with the time they had.

Best friend: HARD QUESTION but i think it would be rise raph? we’d be the mom friends of the group since we’re both older siblings. he’s similar enough to get along with but different enough that he’s not a carbon copy of me where we’d grate on each other’s nerves, y’know? if i met 2003 raph we’d argue too much to be besties

Mortal enemy: not a turtle but. i want to fight whoever decided that the tmnt weren’t “technically” brothers in the next mutation. FOR WHAT? SO YOU COULD HAVE THEM MAKE WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT VENUS?? IM KICKING UR ASS SISTER VENUS WOULD’VE BEEN SO MUCH CUTER

[yeonjunszn]

BALANCE GAME

📻 “pick your answer A or B, it's a balance game, seoul university! welcome back to your favorite radio talk show— you send us two options, we pick one, and then we discuss why we picked it!”

PAIRING 𖦹 choi beomgyu x f!reader

GENRES 𖦹 fluff﹒crack﹒angst

WARNINGS 𖦹 mature language bc i need to swear every chance i can i’m so sorry, uni!au, childhood best friends to lovers trope, mutual but VERY oblivious pining, like i mean it when i say VERY oblivious, reader and beomgyu are kinda (really) dumb, everyone works for the uni radio station, seungmin and soobin are menaces to society, heeseung and jeongin are also menaces to society, chaeryeong wonders why men, this smau is actually very fast paced & kinda short so i’m sorry if it feels like the plot develops too fast for your taste

FEAT 𖦹 soobin from txt, heeseung from enhypen, jeongin and seungmin from skz, chaeryeong from itzy + mentions of other idols

SUMMARY 𖦹 choi beomgyu’s life was relatively simple. he woke up, went to class, met up with you (his best friend since 6th grade) for coffee, helped you manage the school’s radio station, co-hosted a talk show on said radio station with two of his closest friends and repeat. but when the show gets a question that asks whether he’d rather fall in love with a complete stranger or someone he’s known forever, choi beomgyu’s relatively simple life becomes extremely complicated.

STATUS 𖦹 off the air! (completed!)

START 𖦹 september 16, 2022

END 𖦹 december 26, 2022

MORE 𖦹 NO MORE SECOND LEAD BEOMGYU!!! i’ve had just about ENOUGH of giving him this treatment 😭😭 my king deserves better so i am giving him better in the form of my favorite tropes blended together 🫶 send an ask to join the taglist!!

++ this entire thing was beta’d by my bestie bff @lvandrmoon thank u luna !! i appreciate u sm <<3

PROFILES 𖦹 balance game bros | the brain cells(?)

ONE beomgyu > school > station

TWO ur despicable

THREE what the heart wants

FOUR we must repent

FIVE superbly interesting

SIX asking for oomf

SEVEN bitchless soobin and his bitchless anime

EIGHT plus one (964)

NINE seungbin and jeongseung

TEN a guest

ELEVEN y/n emo era

TWELVE intellectually intellectual

THIRTEEN taylor swift on main

FOURTEEN nice try tho

FIFTEEN he’s single

SIXTEEN willing to give it a shot

SEVENTEEN the only person to blame

EIGHTEEN abt to steal your man

NINETEEN i’d pick you a thousand times (1.7k)

TWENTY i’ll be waiting

© yeonjunszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[brainrot-buffet]

Oooo I love your world-building in ur AU -typically don’t see a whole lot for the Vander crew, so love to see it here :D On a slightly different note would you be willing to do Claggor x reader headcanons? (Preferably a pre-established relationship but it’s up to you) or if ur not comfortable with that maybe a platonic!Vander crew x mom-friend reader?

Yo I'm ALWAYS down to write for anyone in the Vander Crew! It's to make up for the fact we never got to spend more time with them and experience their dynamic :( I wasn't sure if you wanted the headcanons set in the canon universe or in the Modern AU, so please forgive me if you intended for them to be set in Zaun. Ngl Claggor holds a special place in my heart because he acts exactly like a person I once knew :)

Notes: Fluff. PURE fluff.

---

Claggor x GN!Reader Headcanons (Modern!AU)

I'm gonna be honest, Claggor is the best option if you're thinking of dating any of the older kids in the Vander Crew

He is respectful, kind and caring, always looks out for others, keeps a level head, gives the best hugs, our man is the whole package; You are literally THE luckiest person alive

Back when you two were pining for each other, he’d be a little awkward whenever he talks to you but makes sure to be extra helpful whenever it comes to you

He always has your back if you need help with anything, be it studying for exams, carrying equipment for your clubs, looking for your lost phone, etc.; He's notably ready to drop anything else he's doing just to help you

These are two clear signs he’s caught feelings aaawwwwww

To him, it doesn't matter who asks out who first; If it's him making the move, he'd lowkey be nervous and rehearsing what to say for the entire day until he confronts you; He takes a calm, gentle approach and assures you that you're not obligated to reciprocate his feelings

If you're the one that asks him out, he'd be surprised but VERY flattered and blushing nonstop, even stutters a little as a grin spreads across his face; He'd say, "I know I'm not too experienced in some areas, but I will do my best to take care of you" :)

And boy does he honor that commitment

He prefers to keep the relationship lowkey; It's not that he's ashamed of you or anything, it's just that he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable if any or too much attention is drawn to the two of you

For him, he doesn't see a need to constantly make your relationship known - You know he loves you and he knows you love him, that's all that matters

Definitely the type to put his hand on your lower back to guide you through crowds; You'll always feel protected around him

And when I say “protected” I mean he will not hesitate to throw down if anyone tries to hurt you

Claggor may be a sweet boy who’s in the top 3 of his graduating class and vice-president of the student council, but he knows when it’s time to get someone’s ass beat

Because of this, NO ONE will fuck with either of you

His love languages would be acts of service (giving) and quality time (receiving)

He secretly keeps a list of all your interests and favorite things; This is so he can keep them in mind when planning date nights and gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Claggor’s that one person who’ll notice if anything’s bothering you and immediately ask what’s wrong; He’s very observant and will be there as you talk about anything on your mind

He doesn’t care if you’re a nerd, he will listen intently to whatever you want to ramble about, whether it’s about the detailed psychoanalysis of each character in Encanto or outlandish facts that prove dolphins and penguins to be evil menaces of society

Always attends your games, concerts, contests, anything you participate in at school; The sweetest thing is that you rarely had to ask him to come to any of them, you just spot him in the crowd or bump into him afterwards as he warmly congratulates you

Loves giving you forehead kisses so expect a lot of those especially if you’re shorter than him; Like imagine him engulfing you in a warm hug after you won a game or something, his arms lifting you off the floor as he places a gentle kiss on your temple (damn I never felt so SINGLE writing that sentence WHYYYYY)

Cuddle sessions are a regular occurrence; You two often cuddle under blankets on his bed while binge-watching Netflix on his computer

Unfortunately, he and Mylo share a room so Mylo sometimes intrudes the two of you just to get whatever he needs; Claggor always urges him to make it quick

Mylo's lowkey bitter cuz he's the only person in the family who doesn't have a love life; He and Vi regularly tease you and Claggor, saying you both act like a disgusting elderly couple

Ngl your relationship with him would probably last long because he puts so much effort into maintaining it (because he loves you so much)

[yawnzznbear]

may i present to you, TXT ⭐️ as things my teammates and or coaches have said and or done 💫 (i’m a cheerleader) part 1 💘

⭐️ disclaimer: none of the boys have actually said any of these quotes, this is just for funsies! i’m also not shipping any of them, my friends joke around with each other while saying this stuff lmao. ENJOY!

beomgyu: i feel like i might pass out

⭐️

kai: i feel like we should all bark at the end, but like a puppy, like roof!

⭐️

yeonjun: i’m gonna get taehyun to kill my ex. taehyun how do you feel about murder if it’s justified?

⭐️

soobin: there’s ten minutes left of practice and he wants us to go full out? is he nuts?

⭐️

taehyun: there are about 700 note cards shoved under my door... what the hell did i miss last night?

⭐️

yeonjun: come to room 606 now. I SAID NOW! WHY AREN’T YOU HERE YET?

⭐️

kai: HELLO? ARE U DEAD? can u please confirm ur not dead bc like… ur my ride.

⭐️

taehyun: i need new friends.

beomgyu: *screams in the distance*

taehyun: yeah… really need new friends.

⭐️

beomgyu: or... how about we cancel practice and have team nap time? sound good?

⭐️

kai: we’re all gonna die tonight! how fun! some very effective team bonding.

⭐️

taehyun: you know, you’re supposed to catch the foot with your hands, not your face. that might help with the bloody noses.

⭐️

yeonjun: W is for the Way you turn us on ;)

⭐️

taehyun: i’ll literally strangle her if she doesn’t watch herself

⭐️

beomgyu: *animated story telling* this is the time i got four avocados instead of four limes and taehyun told me i was a menace to society

⭐️

kai: HELP ME OUT HELP ME OUT

soobin: FOCUS KAI

⭐️

soobin: are we about to kiss right now?

yeonjun: yes. don’t question it.

⭐️

beomgyu: don’t put a question mark where god put a period

⭐️

kai: I’m very confused right now. let me get back to you in about 3 to 5 business days

⭐️

yeonjun: the diggity dogs are about to body ALL OF YOU. y’all didn’t even see it coming.

⭐️

beomgyu: i’m like... an insecure narcissist. sometimes i think i’m ugly, sometimes i think i’m god’s gift to the world. currently, you’re all very blessed to be in my presence.

⭐️

yeonjun: you’re my husband soobin

soobin: i mean, yes of course. b-but when did we-

⭐️

beomgyu: *gets hit by a car* whoop there i go!

⭐️

beomgyu: you all would be so bored without me.

⭐️

yeonjun: i’m literally quitting. this is my last practice. see you all never!

soobin: aw thats so sad. see you tomorrow.

⭐️

yeonjun: WHERE THE ARE YOU GOING? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE OVER THERE!

⭐️

taehyun: *glares from above* i swear to god if you drop m- *smiles brightly at audience*

⭐️

beomgyu: it wasn’t my fault!

taehyun: you literally stood there and watched as the stunt fell-

⭐️

taehyun: what do you think they’d do if we just like... walked out? it’s not like they can stop us-

⭐️

kai: *shows presents labeled “to yeonjun from yeonjun”* christmas is the season of giving, but if you’re yeonjun then christmas is the season of receiving

⭐️

beomgyu: *in disbelief* that was a red light- he just ran a- GO! WHY AREN’T WE GOING? 1 2 3 GO! I HAVE PLACES TO BE!

⭐️

taehyun: i have a very dark sense of humor. it’s black like my soul.

beomgyu: as if you have a soul

taehyun: that was mean :(

⭐️

yeonjun: good morning! you look lively.

taehyun: *glares* shut up

⭐️

kai: my cry count is up to 17 this year :) 16 was because yeonjun and soobin were nice to me :)

⭐️

soobin: stay safe and stay sober

beomgyu: i’ll stay sober!

soobin: *concerned* um- alright-

⭐️

taehyun: *on the phone with beomgyu* where are you going?

beomgyu: i don’t know

taehyun: alright... who are you with?

beomgyu: uh i don’t know...

taehyun: when will you be home?

beomgyu: bet! *hangs up*

taehyun: but-

⭐️

beomgyu: i say we blame yeonjun if kai’s ceiling fan falls

taehyun: but he isn’t even in the room-

beomgyu: that’s fine. we always blame everything on him anyway. 

⭐️

taehyun: IM NOT JAYWALKING AGAIN! IM 18! ILL LITERALLY GO TO PRISON!

⭐️

yeonjun: it wasn’t good but it was better… but it still wasn’t good

⭐️

beomgyu: fuck

soobin: BEOMGYU

kai: BEOMGYU NO

beomgyu: oh my god WHAT?

⭐️

taehyun: *gets hit in the nose by kai*

kai: OH MY GOD I THINK I HIT HIS EYE

soobin: you good taehyun?

taehyun: *holding his nose* oh. i’m bleeding

kai: OUT OF YOUR EYE?

⭐️

kai: *messes up their handshake and walks away without redoing it*

yeonjun: *the it boy was too stunned to speak*

⭐️

kai: hey soobin, when is practice?

soobin: 10!

kai: ok

kai: *20 minutes later* hey taehyun, when is practice?

taehyun: 10

kai: ok

kai: *a few hours later* hey beomgyu, when is practice?

beomgyu: uhhhhh 10 :)

kai: ok

kai: *shows up late to practice*

yeonjun: did he not… ask us all what time practice was? everyone told him 10 right?

beomgyu: yeah

kai: hi guys! wait… did practice start? i thought it was at 10:30…

taehyun: *noises of disbelief*

⭐️

kai: i have a lot of funko pops :)

soobin: what are funko pops?

beomgyu: what the funko?

⭐️

beomgyu: y’all are so FAKE

⭐️

kai: i don’t get it why is everything better at 4am? i feel AMAZING!

taehyun: it’s called being delirious and overtired

kai: okay? so i should be delirious and overtired all the time? got it! thanks taehyun!

taehyun: oh that’s not-

⭐️

yeonjun: alright everyone grab a reindeer!

⭐️

soobin: We need to sing kai a happy birthday, as he is 18 today!

taehyun: *enthusiastically* Wow 18! you can officially be charged as an adult and go to prison!

kai: *blinks*

⭐️

yeonjun: *is on the ground from getting hit in the head with a ball*

taehyun: i can’t tell if he’s laughing or crying

beomgyu: he’s definitely laughing

kai: no no he’s definitely crying

soobin: *the only one helping him* hes doing both.

⭐️

yeonjun: i hope you get a real ostrich as a flyer

⭐️

soobin: *falls* merry christmas! *uses it as a curse word*

taehyun: w-what?

⭐️

beomgyu: *falls* that was a W!

taehyun: *flabbergasted*

i’ll post more as things happen but this is it for now. I hope u got a laugh out of it!

[dancingazaleas]

dating connie springer hcs

simp alert simp alert simp alert

connie is abt to be a regular on my blog i love his himbo ass so much also i’m tired of the lack of connie fics

also i am a connie kin and i am in love with him, yes i am conceited

warnings/notes: cursing, sex jokes, modern au!, canon au too, connie being a himbo, LOTS OF FLUFF, angst <3

modern au!

ok first of all, mr springer here would probably not even notice u at first, he’s literally in his own world

but when he does he’s like ‘awooga awooga😻’

whenever he has a crush on someone, be it anyone, i feel like he acts like a lovestruck girl.

like i feel like he does the same thing as me, like if u were dating him and said smth really sweet like “i love you so much you are my world” he’d be like “STOP IM GONNA SHART”

he doesn’t exactly know to handle love in a serious way, he’s just not in relationships tht much!

he’s very smitten and sweet on the first date too, this mf will be so cryptic

like all of a sudden ur getting texts that say “heyyyyy so what’s ur favorite thing to do? haha i’m boreddd” like connie just... just ask

HE’S SUCH A GENTLEMAN

connie also loves pda, he will give you kisses in public around anyone. he does not care

he’ll text you at like 3 am and be like “miss u🙁” like go to bed

i feel like connie doesn’t get jealous but he DOES get insecure. he’s not mad that you’re spending time with other people but it will make him questions if he’s good enough for you sometimes

if connie were to get jealous i feel like he’d be extra touchy

if you were to have any classes with him while you both are students, he will literally cheat off you

“babe, i’ll take you on a date on friday if i can have the answers!!”

“say less.”

i feel like connie is secretly sad about whatever. he doesn’t tell anyone but jean, sasha, marco, and you about it

connie probably also wouldn’t know how to efficiently comfort you if you were upset.

whenever you do come to him, he gives you encouragement and reassurance and love and then decides to slip in a little joke to see if you can handle it

he ends up joking with you for the rest of the night

i genuinely think that connie is secretly a diehard kung-fu panda fan? sometimes on date nights, he makes you watch it with him

with a guy like connie, you barely have to second guess him loving you.

connie is generally friendly with everyone he comes across. he has a big heart and isn’t afraid to let his friends know that he loves them

but with connie, i think he’s a lot like me and just likes to be alone a lot and left alone. he will hours without texting you and then text u and be like “wait what happened?”

this man will fight with you on the daily

like you’re sitting on the couch watching tv?? connie punches ur arm

standing up just to stand? connie is shoving you and then putting his fists up

laying in bed together? connie is smacking your forehead

oh my god, he will literally come up to you all lovey dovey and lay on you then will coo “omg babe, i love you so much ur so cute!! i love you” which is suspicious in itself

AND THEN THIS MF WILL FUCKING FART ON YOU.

like not cute little toots, FULL ON FARTS THAT STINK

connie is so loud. literally so fucking loud

it’s cause he’s comfortable around you and you can’t help but be like ♥️♥️ because of it, he’s too cute

whenever you post on instagram, he’s in your comments acting like those creepy sugar daddies and porn bots

conniesprings: so beautiful!! send boobs😁

conniesprings: wanna have some fun with me? check dms😉

he makes the fuckboy emoji every time you snapchat him a selfie of you with the caption of “haha ur so sexy.... nudes⁉️”

i feel like connie would facetime you every time he has to poop. you always get so mad and hang up but he will spam you with calls until you answer. claims it’s a “bonding experience”

he put his contact name as ‘dad😩🥵⁉️’ on your phone because he thinks he’s so funny

also anytime you bend down/over to pick something up or to look at smth he literally grabs ur hips and pretends to fuck u 😭

he’s also so shameless, he will smack your ass in public; he does not care

literal menace to society but we love him

he loves you with his whole heart and soul, he wouldn’t trade you for the world

canon au!

connie would not get in a relationship in canonverse, but he would fall in love possibly

he would never act on it, he doesn’t have the luxuries because he’s a soldier.

he shows his love in small affections though, but not small enough where sasha and jean don’t notice it.

he’s always checking in on you, and if you’re a scout, always making sure your equipment is working and that your gas is filled

however, he won’t try to convince levi, armin, or hanji to keep you out of dangerous situations.

saving the world is his top priority.

if you are put into a dangerous situation, he will pray for you to be alright and safe.

sometimes late at night when everyone is asleep, he stays up and cries. he wishes for you both to have a different life without any of this, for the two of you to be together

connie doesn’t joke as much as he used to, but he will always try to make an effort for you.

he would devastated if you were to die.

he usually isn’t allowed to have time for mourning or grieving, so whenever he does get rare chances to be alone, he cries to himself with his head in his hands

connie springer’s smile is gone at this point. he’s lost everyone and everything.

he’s just a shell of a man now.

[lots-o-stuff]

Hii! Can you do kageyama, kuroo, oikawa and akaashi where their s/o is aggresive sarcastic? Like they will do the *looks up and down slowly and looks away judgingly* or they say "ever wondered how it would feel to not have ankles? I can help you with that" *someone says something stupid* "so, what time should i schedule your therapy session" ty!! I love ur writing stylee

HI!!! Thank you so much!! I was really excited to do this one because i am like this! i also LOVE your examples so i tried to use them all in the stories!! (ill also be using them irl now so thank you!)

Kageyama:

Kageyama takes everything literally, he doesn't get jokes, well at least not most of them

its not his fault really its just his brain consists of four main things, 1, Volleyball 2, you 3, milk and 4, what he's gong to have for dinner

so trying to understand jokes and sarcasm isn't important to him, until he met you that is

you being the sarcastic shit you are (love ya boo) accidentally got yourselves to date, it started off as you joking saying how if it wasn't for the milk addiction you’d date him

and he replied saying how about we share milk and date

honestly really smooth so you just went along with

You get along really well and you make a habit out of being as sarcastic as possible just to confuse him

although the times he does get it?

he comes right back at you

it doesn’t really work but its sweet so who are you to complain

Kuroo:

we all know that Kuroo is a teasing shit… but so are you? although differently, your a tad bit more violent

You two are so mean to each other at times that people around you start to think that you hate each other

actually at one point someone spread a rumor that you two weren’t together anymore because they had witnessed you two going back and forth

your attitude and sarcasm is actually what made Kuroo notice you at first

He saw you talking with someone and you made a sarcastic remark which made him laugh

you heard him laugh at what you said and then *boom* instant connection

when you met the team for the first time they honestly didn't know what to expect, were you a quiet girl, were you really stuck up

what they didn't expect was for you to come in talking with kuroo about something random and have him say something stupid (like usual)

AND for you to reply with "ever wondered how it would feel to not have ankles? I can help you with that"

The team lost it and instantly 'adopted' you into the team, you, Yaku and Kenma gang up on Kuroo tho-

Oikawa

Oikawa is a sarcastic shit, literally ask anyone and they'll tell you that, but the two of you together?

You are both a constant headache and nightmare for Iwa

You are constantly roasting each other, others, ANYTHING

Some couples have prank wars, YOU TWO have roast battles, and everyone else gets to enjoy it

the shortest one was 3 minutes, you shut him down real quick.

the longest however went for 11 days!!! the team and your friends couldn’t handle it anymore

You both sort of started to stop these battles until a recent tik tok trend came on Oikawa's for you page

Whoever created the " its the ___ for me" trend better not meet Iwaizumi because after he murders you two thats who he is going after

some examples you’ve used on him are "Its the flat ass for me" and "its the not going to shiratorizawa for me"

lets just say you two are a menace to society

Akaashi

Ok so your not overly sarcastic AT Akaashi as you are sarcastic WITH him

Especially when you meet the idiot duo (aka Bokuto and Kuroo)

I mean you probably just looked them up and down, looked back at Akaashi and made a disgusted face

He found it hilarious by the way, mainly because Bokuto and kuroo acted so hurt

I can totally see Akaashi as the sort of person to come home and bitch about anything, anyone and everything

A lot of people know the two of you for this weird synchronized glare the first time it happened it was actually directed at the team

they were all doing some stupid thing before practice when the two of you walked in

you both simultaneously looked around the room moving from face to face and assessing damage before just glaring and turning around

It was terrifying but now you are both known for being overly sarcastic

Also because you two have full conversations both being sarcastic continuously

AHHHH I seriously love this!!!

[furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog]

Question about car insurance?

"Question about car insurance?

I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Just passed test. Quotes vary wildly online. Not bought a car yet. Looking at Nissan Micra's. What kind of prices should I be looking at?

Does anyone know about medical insurance for low income famlies?

I know a famliy in California they make 1300 a month. Is there no goverment insurance plans for young people like this>

Car insurance 15 year old with 4.0 gpa?

my son is going to turn 15 i wanted to know what it would cost and what options i have

Should I call my auto insurance?

This afternoon, I was at a gas station and I backed my 2003 Pontiac mini van into a concrete barrier very hard. The left rear bumper is falling off, the hatch is dented fairly bad in the corner so it is difficult to open (that dent is about 4 inches in diameter but very deep) and the side with an automatic door has two shallow dents about a foot across. One of my taillights chipped on the side but didn't crack or shatter. No broken glass or anything. The plastic bumper is cracked in a few places, and has red paint all over over it from the barrier. the doors still work (excepting that the hatch catches on the taillight area), no electronic or mechanical issues, just body damage. The question is, should I call insurance? I am almost 17 and I've had my license for about 6 months. Roughly how much would the body work cost, since my insurance with AARP is sure to go up dramatically? Or would I want to play it safe and place a claim? My parents know all about it, and it was a total accident (I missed the brake pedal and hit the accelerator). Just looking for the way that will cost me less in the long run. Thank you for your help.""

""I have just got my provisional licence,and want to be put on my mums insurance.?""

Hi All, I have just received my provisional driving licence, and want to be put on my mums insurance. Of the people who have done this, could you let me know roughly how much it will cost, and can I pay in installments. The cheapest quote I have had is 72.50 , but it seems I would have to pay that all in one go, which I can't really afford to do at the moment. Does anyone know anywhere cheaper where I could pay in installments. Thanks Guys""

Affordable cheap dental insurance?

I'm 21 and need dental insurance.. I need to be able to see a dentist if I need to and would like braces so that % off with the dental would be great . What are some affordable dental insurance plans for myself? thanks!

""How much should my car insurance be, is there a downpayment?""

I am 16 and i am a boy :) I have good grades but not quite a 3.0 My car is a really old Toyota tercel, Its a v4. I would be going under my moms plan. Thanks :)""

Does anyone have a Pontiac G6 GTP?? i need to know how much car insurance are on the them?? please let me know

Does anyone have a Pontiac G6 GTP?? i need to know how much car insurance are on the them?? please let me know

Where do you get cheap car insurance in Northern Ireland?

Hi Folks, I'm moving from Dumfries in Scotland shortly to Northern Ireland, my car insurance is going to double in price, just wondering where the best place to get insurance quotes, I tryed NI Compare and it was actually more expensive than Go Compare, many thanks""

""Where Can i Get Non-Owner's Insurance in Austin, Texas?""

Where Can i Get Non-Owner's Insurance in Austin, Texas?""

What is a good affordable medical insurance for the California Area?

What is a good affordable medical insurance for the California Area?

What is the average cost of car insurance for an 18 year old female in California?

What is the average cost of car insurance for an 18 year old female in California?

Do I need to change car insurance?

Right now Im going to school in tampa while my home town is about 2.5/3 hours away. Im currently residing in the dorms on campus but next semester (january) I was going to move into an apartment. I know Ill have to change my drivers license but will I have to change my car insurance policy too? I know one of my classmates did and it went up considerably because of the move to tampa.

Who provides motorcycle insurance for 17 year old?

I need to know who will provide insurance for a 17 year old male in Alabama. The bike I want is street legal; it is a Roketa 2009 200cc.

Life Insurance Companies?

Please give me the names of the five best life insurance companies.

How does Driver's License affect insurance in Washington State?

I'm 18 and just recently moved in with my grandparents so I can go to school. I would like to get my driver's license, but they are telling me I can't because it would make their insurance rates go up. I don't think that makes any sense because I don't have a car, and I don't drive theirs. Would me getting a driver's license affect them at all actually?""

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

Is a subaru wrx a good car for an 18 year old?

I'm 18 and I'm thinking about buying a wrx. It has 150000 miles with maintenance history and was run on high octane gas... seems to be mechanically taken care of. It needs a new paint job but I don't mind the project. Is it hard to drive this car on 5spd for people who have minimum manual experience? (i can drive a manual but I haven't had much practice) I plan on taking care of it and running it easy. How much does insurance increase if there's a lein in the car? Is it difficult to transfer leins? Car has 6600 left on lein and its a 2003.

Question about car insurance?

I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.

Classic car insurance?

I'm a young driver, no previous accidents, honor student, plan on driving something close to, if not exactly, a 1965 Type 2 Volkswagen Bus and can't find much information on insurance. I've queried my insurance agent, but I'm a bit impatient for results, haha, and also I'd like to see what other people with classic cars have done about this dilemma. :) Thanks for reading.""

How much would car insurance cost?

I am almost 16 and am going to buy my uncles 2010 Chevy Camaro SS with 700 plus horsepower and would like to know how much it will cost to insure it thanks

How to get insurance in california for a used car?

I bought a car in auction in california, I filled up forms for registration and paid the fee there, But the car is not insured, What should i do to get the car insured, Is it legal to drive in california without insurance ?""

Which US states make health insurance obligatory?

Which states make it's citizens take out private health insurance?

Getting insurance for a car?

my step daughters cousin is buying her a used car. tiffany does not have a license yet. she has her learners permit. we live in pennsylvania. her cousin does not want the insurance in her name she wants my step daughter to get it. can you get insurance without a license? she lives with her dad, can she get on his policy? would she automaticaly be on her cousins insurance since she will own the car? thank you""

Why do people ask yahoo answers about car insurance quotes.?

When its so much quicker, easier and obviously more accurate to either call insurance company or do an online quote.""

How much roughly with motorcycle insurance be for me?

Im 17 and looking to see how much insurance is for when i get my motorbike. Im looking to get a 125CC motorbike second hand nothing fast. How much roughly do you think? Im don't care if the insurance is only for theft and accidents coverage. the bike will be stored in a garage and be locked up.

Flood insurance?

Looking to possibly buying a house inside a flood zone and I'll need flood insurance. Any idea on what that might cost me? Thanks.

How much should my car insurance be a month?

I am 19 and I drive a 2003 Jeep. I've been with Geico for 1.5 years & my policy price has went up two times! When I called to ask why it would go up they explained that it was nothing to do with me or my driving record (seeing how I've never had a wreck or a ticket) but that it depends on the claims from other people. I know this is how some things work, but I don't think I should be pentilized for someone else's claims. Is this how every car insurance works or is it just Geico? I'm going to start calling around to today to get quotes...but I wanted to hear from people other than a sales person.""

""Worried about getting insurance for a car, when i have bad credit!?""

Is it right that in the UK, some insurance providers can refuse to give you insurance if you have a bad credit rating?? I'm panicing that i wont be able to get insurance when i pass my test!!""

Cost to Insure Skyline.?

got a R34 GT-r. maybe thinking about downgrading to a GT-s R33 cuz i the insurance is a little ridiculous. $640 Thats full coverage and im only 19 :P turnng 20 soon. Which would be more to insure and what you think it would cost to insure the R33? I do have 1 speeding ticket and one wreckless driving back when i was 16.

About health insurance?

My job health insurance is to high, I need affordable insurance do anyone one how I can go by getting it""

Short term car insurance quotes?

Hi, are there any car insurance companies that can offer car insurance for a short term (6weeks) for young drivers? Im 19 and had my license since april now, but not been able to get my own car as im going to uni in september and cant afford to buy and insure one for a year. My boyfriend has just got a new car and is offering his old car to me for the weeks before uni to get to work etc so im after insurance for 6 weeks only but all the ones i have looked at wont insure a young driver. I wanted to go with Diamond insurance as they are cheapest for me but not sure if they will offer me short term cover. Help!""

Best health insurance company?

Can someone recommend a health insurance company in CA that has affordable rates? Recently lost my job and need insurance for me and my family.

What is the Cheapest Homeowners Insurance for Senior Citizen?

My elderly neighbor has had her homeowners insurance cancelled because she couldnt afford to pay it. She is on a fixed income and her children do not help in any way. She owns her home but is having a hard time with paying the large payments. her mortage company says that if she doesnt take out her own insurance then they will purchase it for her at a cost of 2100.00 per year. This is way too much for a Senior citizen. i got a quote for her from progressive for 2600.00. Are there any cheaper alternatives?

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?

Who makes the best affordable medical oxygen concentrator?

portable preferred

Can I buy 1 months insurance ? ( under 21)?

Hi all, Been looking around for 1 -2 months insurance cover for under 21 in the Uk. It's been difficult to find anything on the internet. Can I actually buy this? Or would I just have to buy yearly Insurance? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.""

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

Car insurance help for teens?

im getting my drivers license this summer and next year november we have an extra car that a hundai that we can trade in to get a new car i was wondering if i buy a Mitsubishi lancer es or even something better would my insurance go sky high??

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My current car insurance will expire tomorrow at 11:59pm and the new one will take effect at 12:01am. Am I going to have an issue with that 1 minute of non coverage? I know this might sound silly but I just don't know if that will be some kind of an issue. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

""Car insurance help, 16 yrs old?""

hey, so im 16 yrs old. I live in florida, have above a 3.0, took driver safety classes and everything, and im thinking about getting a 1995-2000 v6 camaro as my first car. Problem is, about 4 or 5 months ago, some asshole in a truck with a trailer crashed into me while i was driving and my parents got ****** on insurance, and the court just now ruled it wasnt my fault, but i know its still going to affect my insurance. If i go under their plan, have them as the lead and im just an off-driver, as it will be a school only car, how much do you think the insurance would be? im just looking for a medium range, i know everyone can't get specifics, im just trying to see if its worth it or not. i think with me on both cars now they had to pay $150 dollars more now, they said it would usually be more, but since they have been with them for over 30 years or something they get a discount.""

Question about newborn insurance coverage under the mother's plan?

With the birth of my first two children, any claims that were submitted to the insurance company for the first 30 days were paid under my plan. After that, I could elect to add them to my policy or not. I had a baby 30 days ago and they're denying his claims. I've called Humana (a new insurance for me since the birth of my first children) and they assured me that the claims for him would be paid, and that they would NOT add him to my policy (he has separate insurance). I was just at Humana's website searching for a provider (for myself) and it appears they've added him and made my deductible of $2,000 go up to $4,000 (family coverage). Is this correct? I thought it was state or federal law or something that newborns are covered under the mother's policy for the first 30 days. Can someone help?""

How much would insurance go up for a newer used car?

I drive a 1988 Lincoln Mark VII. I wanted to know how much more my insurance would go up if I got a 1996 Buick Regal?

Cost for insurance license?

What is the total cost for obtaining a insurance license in California? Taking into consideration the exam, background check fees, etc? PLEASE..answer if you truly know. And tell me other essential information that I should know such as the time that it takes to finish the courses.""

Question about car insurance?

I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/am-i-covered-my-car-insurance-park-illegally-grover-metzler"

[makeroomforthejolyghost]

OK!!! saint-loup. it is saint-loup o’clock. i do not have these thoughts well formulated so this might get kinda long n messy but i promised myself i’d Talk This Out w/ myself on this reading, so. icee straw kazoo.

ok so saint-loup is the narrator’s friend tho like... to the extent this term is applicable in friendships m’s kinda The Unrequiter, often exhibits w/out expressly saying that he feels kinda guilty for Using Him or at least for like. not being able to match the energy saint-loup brings to the relationship. in fact the main thing he consistently notices in saint-loup is energy, strength. but also solicitude! which combination to me seems weird? i’m fond of saint-loup but he makes me uncomfortable, i think bc while, on one hand, his slightly sophomoric intellectualism and nervous quickness and tendency to be officiously solicitous*--which 3 traits m associates w/ saint-loup’s ability to assimilate quickly (3.98, 153)--all remind me of me, and also of many people i’ve known, but then...? on the other hand, i have never seen those traits (esp. solicitude) in a strong person; saint-loup is passive-aggressive and i have only ever observed that demeanor in weak people--most of them sick, bats and/or non-men; certainly not in a straight-passing man (as saint-loup does at this time) if he’s also healthysane--since passive-aggression is so. roundabout, and mind-over-matter &c. like. all the things i have in common w/ saint-loup are traits i’ve developed because i’m not a man, not straight, not neurotypical, not strong, u know? and certainly these traits are ones people like me are supposed to dislike in ourselves, but i find that recognizing them in someone usually makes me more comfortable around them, because... well, you know. because the ways in which we’d be likely to hurt each other are basically the same?

meanwhile early in volume 3 you get this scene where saint-loup introduces m to a bunch of his friends, all adorably over-eager to Show Off m’s intellect, make sure he makes a good impression, and

“No? You don’t agree about Stendhal?” he went on, with a naïve confidence in my judgment which found expression in a charming, smiling, almost childish glance of interrogation from his green eyes. “Oh, good! I see you’re on my side. ... The Chartreuse is after all a stunning work, don’t you think? I’m so glad you agree with me. What is it you like best in the Chartreuse? Answer me,” he urged with boyish impetuosity. And the menace of his physical strength made the question almost terrifying. (136)

N.B. THO that here and elsewhere m fuckin glories in that strength. here, for example:

My departure depressed me less when I was no longer obliged to think of it alone, when I felt that the more normal and healthy exertions of my energetic friends, of Robert’s brothers-in-arms, were being applied to what was to be done (179)

but also, before we even GET to rachel:

“I’m furiously jealous,” Saint-Loup said to me, half laughing, half in earnest, alluding to the interminable conversations apart which I had been having with his friend. “Is it because you find him more intelligent than me? Do you like him better than me? Ah, well, I suppose he’s everything now, and no one else is to have a look in!” (Men who are enormously in love with a woman, who live in a society of woman-lovers, allow themselves pleasantries which others, seeing less innocence in them, would never dare to contemplate.) (153)

idk, like. i’ve had multiple people talk that way to me? but i possess what almost seems like an “only we can say it” sentiment about it--only people who don’t pass for straight men, maybe, or only weak people, neurotics. and saint-loup has that entire demeanor he seems to think he’s entitled to it as an intellectual or maybe just picks it up from m and rachel but it’s weird on people whose intellectualism does not compensate for frailty of body and/or “willpower,” idk. he does the fuckin... what do i mean, um. OH!--i associate his flirtatious self-deprecation w/ the thing women do in victorian books and in old movies; the thing lizaveta nikolaevna does in demons when she asks what’s his face whether he’d still wanna hang if she broke her leg. and possibly i’m wrong to see saint-loup’s comments as the outpost of a similar thing? but

“You know,” I said, “I did come to say good-bye to you the day I left Doncières. I’ve never had a chance to mention it. I waved to you in the street.”

“Don’t speak about it,” he replied, “I was so sorry. I passed you just outside the barracks, but I couldn’t stop because I was late already. I assure you I felt quite wretched about it.” (233)

haha yeah no i don’t think i’m wrong. so maybe it’s like the last few days’ irritation at hearing my mom employ the detached, bodily-self-contemptuous infodump tone i often use irl to talk about My Limitations--sitting like i do then, w/ that buzzardy hunch as though to tell a secret, and w/ the same aporetic expression--without having also to euphemize, circumlocute, pause and screw up her face and twist her wrist around for long intervals, blushing, trying to think of a less self-flattering [vulnerable] word for what she means, like i would in that situation. but i think it’s... also that i’m uncomfortable on m’s and rachel’s behalf? that in order not to intimidate or seem to condescend he adopts a piece of their demeanor that makes him look harmless. because like. another way in which saint-loup attempts to Regain His Dignity (or at least vent frustration) during his fight w/ rachel is that when the journalist w/ the cigar refuses to put it out, um,

“Would you mind, sir, throwing away your cigar? The smoke is bad for my friend.” [...]

“There’s no rule against smoking that I know of,” said the journalist. “If people aren’t well, they have only to stay at home.” [...]

“In any case, sir, you are not very civil,” observed Saint-Loup to the journalist, still in a mild and courteous tone, with the air of appraisal of a man judging retrospectively the rights and wrongs of an incident that is already closed. (239-40)

and see THIS IS ME this is exactly how i act when i’m angry at someone in public (incl. or maybe esp. if that someone is myself ha), fuckin carrying on another conversation in the background as proof ur Still Sane, BUT THEN

[A]fter the courteous words that he had just uttered, he brought down his hand with a resounding smack upon the journalist’s cheek. (240)

AND LIKE?? i don’t think this would creep me out nearly so much if the pretext (tho obv not the reason) for it weren’t. an ableist comment. “If people aren’t well, they have only to stay at home.” but i’ve more than once gotten angry w/ someone, chewed someone out, for saying something ableist to my friend (tho in the case that comes to mind the comment could be applied to me as well), and in my experience that kind of vicarious anger is?? because you know your friend’s upset about it but don’t know what to say to help them, so you resent the perp for showing you your own impotence, for distracting your and your friend’s attention from more important things w/ their needless judgmental bs. and THAT makes sense here? but without those other layers--of 1. “this insult implicates me also” and 2. “you have upset my friend and therefore obliged me to Avenge them since i don’t know how to make them feel better”--it’s... weird. it’s just so Not His Fight i guess, and. i’ve actually written a similar scene, too? in which case some of the interest was in like... the assumption by stronger people that we’ll be flattered to see them use their greater strength in defense of Our Honor, when. no, saint-loup; that’s a nonsensical n paternalistic pretext to vent ur own unrelated anger? m neither needs nor wants a healthy person to punish ableists’ contempt of his ill health? and in fact it’s embarrassing in the first place when ppl respond to our not making a fuss by making the fuss for us?? blugh! i don’t know. i can point out so many gross things about this but still am not satisfied i have identified The Thing About It that makes me so uncomfortable; maybe it’s just because at the same time i do understand both m’s fetishistic admiration of saint-loup’s strength and aristocratic solicitude and saint-loup’s paternalism itself. i’ve been on both sides, tho without the... punching. thing, ha. on that note:

Now that to the measured conversations of the diplomats, to the smiling arts of peace, had succeeded the furious onthrust of war, since blows lead to blows, I should not have been surprised to see the combatants wading in one another’s blood. ... Fortunately the journalist who, staggering back from the violence of the blow, had turned pale and hesitated for a moment, did not retaliate. (240-1)

M OH MY GOD ur purely academic understanding of How Fights Work! sees a guy 2 whose general opinion on violence he defers punch someone n is just like “well, shit, this is it, we’re all gonna die” fdlahgsdf ur......my favorite, and also, same, but possibly this is a mistake we both oughta quit making. Fuckin Liberals &c. &c.

*appropriate since he’s a sergeant!! but what i mean is e.g. when rachel (his gf w/ whom he needs to break up) makes him feel small in public saint-loup will then try to get back some dignity by turning to m like “You oughtn’t to stand about in the cigar smoke like that, it’ll make you ill” (3.237). it’s like what i said yesterday about my own solicitude--that it’s about liking to feel useful, liking for there to be a subject on which you know what to say. but it’s jarring to me to see this sense of return to familiar ground detached from same-feeling--to see the “useless person’s dream come true” phenomenon in a situation where saint-loup has no obvious reason to consider himself an expert other than his general aristocratic + busybodyish(!!!) tendency to anticipate people’s interests, to want to Know Everything about his friends.